​Oh mama, I didn’t kill dad

Ice cream starts melting

As I wait with two spoons.

In this hall full of People

I feel myself lost in yarn.

My eyes are teary 

Ohh how red and feary

Still in thoughts of time

.

Remembering the phase 

When I sat under the stairs

Controlling my fears.

With my legs pulled up to chin

And

my hands shaking wrapping my shin.

.

Oh mama, what was my crime?

You hit me like I m some murder

Oh mama, why did u hate me?

You beat me like I m some rodent

.

Candy floss gets lost in vapour

They said mothers are lover.

You kept me nine months in womb

And 

hated me when I came to world.

You Made me stand in rain 

When is five

Hit me with utensil

When I was seven

.

With every step to close

I feared to imagine the hand that will rose

To hit me on face

So clear

I fear to see your face

Daunting and monstrous

As you speak all cuss words

Over my face .

Oh momma, what’s my mistake? .

My mind was haunted

I feel life so misery

Lack of happiness and emotions

All my hands are swelled up

With marks of sticks 

My head starts paining

My eyes

Have forgot the feeling of sleep. .

I hide my marks in school

With smile on my face

Drinking my pain

Like lite up Marlboro advance

My eyes are dark 

And lips are swollen

But I smile .

Oh mama, what was my guilty? 

.

One night, I saw you crying.

Holding dads picture in rain

Oh mama, you miss him

But I m not one who kill him

.

By time as your hairs turned white

And

My voice became ripe.

I saw u sitting more quite

And lost in spinning yarn

Tears that never stopped 

from ur eyes.

Blaming yourself for

That night.

.

Oh mama

You were not drunk driving 

that evening

When truck hit the car

And dad died

Stop hurting yourself

Its been twenty years since then

.

Oh mama, it was not your mistake

Please stop killing me.

Oh mama, you never hugged me

Can I hug u before I die?

ping

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