Heart shaped hand grenade

“”
Just tripping like blue. With weed rolled in hand. Certain things about which i have no experience sometimes give me pleasant feeling. Taking puff keep it in throat for time then release. Wait and take another then another then wait till ur eyes feel drowsy mind feel numb you see floor starts moving and u stand still.
I lie down in balcony looking at pole star. With joint burning in hand. Join first to star of Ursa major to locate it. I looked at him sitting in a position since ages. They say universe is expanding but still this star mange to be at same place how? I questioned him How  do you manage to stay so calm and fixed in this ever changing world? How can you just watch when everything around you is moving away? What motivates you? 

Probably that because you don’t have heart. Seriously they say think with heart follow ur heart love from ur heart.They never told this heart is just tiny piece of muscle whose job is to pump blood not to take all those fucking decision of life or get broken by everyone with whom we develop feeling. Sometimes I feel life would have been easier without heart or emotions. I sometimes wonder how easy people talk of love and very other moment they leave. I wonder how a sky diver turns to cab driver. 

This world is crazy, can’t I be just be alone. Stay fixed like. I kept on staring the moon as Steven Wilson stared Lazarus, moon light starts bleeding out of my soul. Certainly this is stray heart, which just blew like a hand grenade. I just want to scream up
I’m too bored to be tired

And the silence is so deafening

I’m too mental to go crazy

And my mind is playing tricks on me

And I can’t sleep tonight ’cause I’m so tired

I can’t take it anymore

With all the liars

I don’t want your sympathy

I don’t want your honesty

I just want to get some peace of mind

It’s only in my head

I don’t want to hear it anymore

I lie down with my eyes close as joint blows

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